Blood of the Wolf: The Crown (Mackenzie Grey Book 11) Read online

  He sounded so disappointed and defeated. It was the last thing I wanted to do to him, especially on the night of our mating ceremony.

  “Bash … please, look at me,” I pleaded.

  His shoulders slumped and he sighed heavily before lifting his head and staring at me with cold blue eyes.

  “I—”

  “Do you know why I’m awake?” he cut me off. I shook my head with wide eyes, unable to say a word. “Your fear woke me up. It was bone chilling. I’ve never felt you like that before.”

  I rode through the forest in the middle of the night fueled on pure adrenaline. I never expected it to be fear as well. I guess I was scared. This whole situation scared me to death.

  I walked over to Bash and knelt before him, placing my hands on his knees. “I’ll explain everything, I promise, just … don’t look at me like that. Don’t look at me with those dead eyes.”

  Bash threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t keep doing this, Mackenzie,” he whispered.

  My heart started to beat erratically and my breathing quickened. I forced myself to blink back tears and gripped the cloth of his pants to get his attention. “Please, just listen to me, Bash—”

  His head fell forward and he looked at me. “What now, Mackenzie? You’re going to apologize and promise you’ll never do it again, but you will! You—”

  “I’m pregnant!” I cried.

  He choked on what he was about to say and stared at me with wide eyes, frozen in place.

  “I – I found out tonight, after the ceremony. When I got back up here, I found a package from Abaddon … it was a baby rattle. He knows. The baby is what he’s after, Bash. That’s what he’s looking for!”

  “That—that’s not possible,” he murmured. “You’re on birth control.”

  “I think it has something to do with the fae magic in my blood,” I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment. “I don’t know, I’m just guessing here. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter what it is at this point, because the damage is done.”

  “Damage?” Bash choked out. “Is it really that horrible of an idea to have a child with me?”

  I dropped my forehead on his knee and exhaled. “That’s not what I’m saying,” I muttered. “Don’t take my words out of context. I said a lot of stuff just now and that’s what you focused on?” I raised my head to stare at him.

  “You’ve never wanted children, Mackenzie. What am I supposed to think?”

  Shivering in my wet clothes, I slumped back on my heels, my hands dropping to my thighs. I realized that no matter what I said, it wouldn’t change the fact that I didn’t want children. He knew that. I’d made it painstakingly clear from day one.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t like children. I did. If the situation was different, I wouldn’t mind starting a family, but the life we led wasn’t meant for a settled down life like that. I didn’t know how much clearer I could make it. Even before I was made Queen, I had enemies. Now I had even more. It seemed never ending.

  “What do you plan to do, Mackenzie? Alexander won’t let you get rid of the heir to the throne,” he said angrily.

  My eyes blurred with unshed tears and my bottom lip wobbled as I realized my choices were no longer mine. The thought alone made me chuckle a bit. It was such an oxymoron. I spent so many years fighting for my freedom, for the freedom of lunas and lone wolves, just to lose my freedom in the end. It made me feel like a hypocrite. Like everything I’d done was a lie. I fought so hard for everyone else, but I couldn’t even fight for myself.

  Bash dropped down to the floor beside me and knelt, taking my hands in his. “Listen to me, Mackenzie. We can do this. I know what you’re worried about, but together we can protect this baby. Have some faith! Don’t give up so quickly. I know you’re scared, but being scared is a good sign. It means you care, and you know the importance of what you’re about to do. So don’t give in to those thoughts and don’t do anything crazy. Stay with me. Please,” he pleaded.

  I felt completely numb. I didn’t know if it was from riding in the rain and still being in wet clothes, or from the impossibility of the situation, but I couldn’t feel a thing.

  Lucian told me he would protect this baby, even if it was from me. Bash was ready to lay down his life for his child. And there I was, ready to throw in the towel. I was such a coward. I was scared. Terrified, even. How the hell could I raise a lycan baby?

  What was I going to do? Send the kid off to public school in the human world? Or should I let him be raised by the Lycan? Both thoughts sounded absurd to me and impossible. But was it?

  I turned my head and stared my mate and husband straight in the eyes. “If we do this, no one can know … at least not right now. This baby has to stay a secret as long as possible.”

  “We have to tell Alexander,” Bash amended.

  I nodded. “Of course. We’ll tell Alexander and Ranulf, but no one else. The more people who know, the more dangerous it is.”

  “Wait,” Bash stopped me. “We should tell Dr. Harris. You need to be checked out as soon as possible. We need to know how far along you are.”

  I bit my lip, contemplating whether it was okay to tell the doc. I didn’t know him all that well, but he seemed okay. Even so, a lot of people seemed okay and turned out not to be, so I didn’t want to go off first impressions. But Bash was right; I needed to see a doctor. I hadn’t been feeling well lately and this might be why.

  “Okay, we’ll have Ranulf make an appointment with Dr. Harris on the low. William is the only guard keeping watch and he’s probably hearing our conversation now, so he can be the only guard to accompany us. No other guards,” I insisted.

  “Fine. Let’s call Alexander and Ranulf—”

  “It’s the middle of the night!” I screeched, stopping him as he was about to stand. “We can discuss this later at a decent hour.”

  Bash shook his head. “This is too important to wait. Especially if you’ve already received a threat from Abaddon. They must be told now.”

  I didn’t stop him when he strode out of our bedroom to ask William to call Ranulf and bring both him and Alexander to our chambers.

  This was going to be a long night.

  Bash and I were in the common room when Ranulf and Alexander walked in together. Ranulf was all geared up as if he never went to sleep, while Alexander was wearing a robe over his striped pajamas.

  “What is so important that it needs to be addressed in the wee hours of the morning?” Ranulf grumbled.

  “Have a seat.” Bash motioned to the sofa across from us and Alexander went to sit while Ranulf stayed standing, crossing his arms over his chest.

  Alexander’s gray eyes traveled to me and he took in my drenched hoodie and long wool coat. Definitely not nightwear. “What’s wrong, darling?”

  I ran a trembling hand over my wet, knotted hair and took a deep breath. “I learned something last night … from Ophelia.”

  “Did you learn what the demon is after?” Ranulf asked with a raised brow.

  I shook my head. “I found that out from Abaddon himself.” Both their eyes widened. “He sent me a package … here to the castle.”

  “What does he want?” Ranulf demanded, taking a step toward us.

  “What did Ophelia say?” Alexander asked gently.

  I pressed my lips together for a quick pause. “They were the same thing. Ophelia told me something I have, and Abaddon told me he wants it.”

  “Well?” Ranulf urged.

  I looked over at Bash for reassurance and he nodded, smiling for me to keep going. He reached over and squeezed my hand comfortingly, not letting go. My eyes went back to Alexander and Ranulf, who alternated between patience and annoyance as they waited for me to respond. I took a deep breath.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  A hush fell over the room and it felt as if everyone held their breaths. Bash never once let me go as we faced them and waited for a reply, a reaction, anything in response to what I just said.

  “Yer what?” Alexander whispered, looking stunned.

  “I’m pregnant … with child … bun in the oven … knocked up … I don’t know how else to say it.” I swallowed loudly. “Are … are you mad?” I winced.

  “Mad?” Alexander let out a boisterous laugh. “I’m bloody ecstatic!”

  I jerked back as he jumped up from his seat and ran over to me, engulfing me in a huge hug.

  “This is such a relief, darling,” he whispered in my ear and squeezed me tightly. When Alexander pulled back, his eyes were glossy. “The family line continues.”

  I didn’t feel an ounce of relief whatsoever.

  “We have nae had any little ones running around the castle in a long time,” Alexander beamed. “Oh, this is wonderful! We can—”

  “We can’t tell anyone,” I interrupted. “At least not right now. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Is the baby what the demon wants?” Ranulf asked shrewdly.

  “Yes,” Bash answered. “He sent her a package with a baby rattle and this note.” He handed everything over to Ranulf, who took it and looked over the note.

  “Congratulations, Your Majesty.

  The first trimester is always the hardest.

  -A”

  Ranulf read the note aloud and tossed it back in the box. “He’s threatening ye.”

  “I figured,” I muttered. Then I decided to bite the bullet and tell them the rest. “There’s something else you don’t know about me.”

  “What is it?” Ranulf asked cautiously.

  “Before I left New York City, I made a deal with the fae. In exchange for their help in certain matters, I gave them … a vial of my blood.”

  “What?!” Alexander shouted. “Tell me ye did nae!”

  “Oh, she did,” Ba
sh grunted.

  Charging ahead, I continued, “They found fae magic in my blood. That’s why I didn’t want Dr. Harris running any blood tests on me.”

  Ranulf exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. “Hells bells, Yer Majesty, what else have ye been keeping from us?”

  “Nothing, I promise, that’s it.” I held up my hand to swear I was being truthful. “I don’t know if the two things are related, but they just might be.”

  Alexander shrugged. “We’ll have to talk to Dr. Harris to find out. We must be able to tell him, darling. Ye have to see a doctor.”

  I nodded. “Bash and I already discussed it. We’re okay with letting Dr. Harris know, as long as he doesn’t tell anyone.”

  “Very well.” Alexander turned to Ranulf. “Make an appointment for first thing in the morning with Dr. Harris. I want his earliest appointment. Better yet, tell him to clear his schedule for the whole day. We need his undivided attention.”

  “Other people need to see the doctor, too,” I grumbled. “It’s not fair—”

  Alexander glared at me. “Ye and the baby are the main priority of the entire Lycan race.”

  I huffed but didn’t argue. There was no point. He would insist on the appointment regardless of my protests.

  For the rest of the night, we discussed how to handle the situation going forward. To say I didn’t get any sleep would be an understatement.

  3

  The next morning, I showered and changed into clean clothes, tossing the rain-soaked clothes that were now dry and stiff into the hamper. Escorted by the Queen’s Guard, I was taken to the dining room where breakfast was waiting for me. I was famished. A huge, steaming mug of coffee awaited and I nearly tripped as I raced to the head of the table to reach it. I needed caffeine pronto. I was running on no sleep and needed something to keep me awake.

  When I plopped down on the chair with two guards behind me, I grabbed the massive mug and took a big gulp—spitting it out immediately. The coffee flew out all over my breakfast and the dining table in front of me.

  “Yer Majesty, are ye okay?” The guards rushed over to me as coffee dripped down my chin and onto my shirt.

  “What – what the hell is this?” I asked, staring ahead, unblinking. “Can someone ask the kitchen why I was given decaf, and how in the world they even have decaf? I told them it was forbidden!” I shouted as I slammed the coffee mug on the table, coffee sloshing over the rim, sure I looked like a mad woman.

  I knew I was being ridiculous, but I was in the middle of an existential crisis. I hadn’t slept in over thirty-six hours, there was a tiny human growing inside me, and I needed the elixir of life as soon as possible or I might start to cry.

  “Aye, Yer Majesty.” One of the guards bowed and sprinted out of the dining hall through the back door that led to the kitchen.

  After a few minutes, the guard returned with a luna from the kitchen. She bowed before me and asked, “Is there a problem, Yer Majesty?”

  I tried to calm my racing heart. “Why was I given decaf?” I said as calmly as possible. I didn’t want to be rude. I wasn’t that type of Queen. Especially not over coffee. I couldn’t be.

  She worried her hands in front of her apron and nodded a couple times in understanding. “King Alexander came to the kitchen at dawn during prep and told us under no circumstances were we to give ye regular coffee. No matter what ye say. And if ye won’t drink the decaf, we’re to give ye tea.”

  My jaw dropped and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t drink coffee. That was what they were saying. I felt like a smoker who had just been told they couldn’t smoke for nine months. This was absurd. How would I survive?

  My hands trembled with the need for my morning drink and I looked down at my soggy breakfast that I’d destroyed by spitting gross coffee all over it. I wasn’t even hungry anymore.

  “I’m so sorry, Yer Majesty.” She bowed and excused herself before leaving the dining hall.

  “Yer Majesty, would you like the kitchen to make ye another breakfast?” one guard asked.

  I shook my head. “No, it’s fine,” I answered mindlessly. “I’m not hungry anymore.” I pushed back my chair and stood to leave, tossing the napkin onto the table. I needed to have a word with Alexander. This was not okay.

  I stormed out of the dining hall, my guards hustling to follow me out. I didn’t need to go far, because halfway down the corridor, Alexander was coming toward me, most likely on his way to eat breakfast.

  “You!” I shouted, pointing a finger at him.

  He pointed at himself in confusion and then realization dawned on him and he chuckled. “Nae a very good brekie, I suppose.”

  “You think this is funny?” I scoffed.

  Alexander walked toward me and grabbed my upper arms. “Darling, ye know ye cannae drink coffee right now.” He looked around the corridor at the guards and then back at me, widening his eyes for me to catch his drift.

  The baby.

  I couldn’t have coffee because of the damn baby. At least not regular coffee. And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t an obsessive coffee drinker. I couldn’t be trusted to just have one cup a day. This would be torture! Absolute torture. There was no way I would survive this. I needed something to replace the caffeine.

  “Alexander, I need …” my voice trembled.

  “I know, darling. I’m working on it.” He smiled softly. “We’ll figure something out, but for now, no coffee.” He squeezed my arms and then let me go. “Come on, we need to get ye to yer appointment.”

  Alexander hooked my arm in his and led me down the corridor toward the main foyer of the castle where Ranulf, Bash, and William were already waiting.

  “The rest of ye are relieved from yer duties for the day,” Ranulf dismissed the guards. They looked at one another in confusion and then nodded before departing. “We’ve briefed William on what’s going on,” Ranulf added for my benefit.

  “Okay. Did you make the appointment with Dr. Harris?” I asked.

  “First thing this morning,” he confirmed. “Now let’s go. He’s waiting for us.”

  Bash took my hand and we followed Ranulf and Alexander, while William took the rear as we exited the castle. Crossing the drawbridge, we waved to the guards on duty and I saw the questions in their eyes. Where were the Queen’s guards?

  “Aren’t we making it a little too obvious that something’s up?” I whispered to Bash once we entered the village. “I never travel alone.”

  “Technically, you’re not alone,” Bash whispered back.

  “You know what I mean,” I deadpanned.

  He smiled down at me. “I know, but this is a necessary precaution.” Bash released my hand and wrapped an arm around me. “I know the timing is bad, but I’m really excited.”

  I snorted. “I bet you are. You’re not the one going through the trauma and body dysmorphia.”

  Bash threw his head back in laughter. “Body dysmorphia? Seriously, Mackenzie? What else are you going to come up with?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ll tell you as they come to me.”

  Bash leaned down and pressed his lips to my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “You’re going to love her.”

  Her?

  “You mean him?” I corrected.

  He shook his head. “It’s a girl.”

  I frowned. “No it’s not.”

  He stopped walking, making William bump into him. “Yes, it is. I saw her,” he said.

  I looked back at him. He was completely serious.

  “When?” I raised a brow and crossed my arms over my chest.

  “During the mating ceremony, when we took the nightshade. It was a girl.”

  William cleared his throat. “Ye may nae want to have this discussion in the middle of the road.”

  “I saw a boy!” I whisper yelled. “He was a teenager and he looked just like you! Unfortunately …” I muttered the last part. “But he had my eyes. It’s definitely a boy.”

  “Excuse me?” William tried again.

  “I’m telling you, Mackenzie, it was a girl. She had your eyes, too—”

  “I’m not fuckin’ having twins!” I threw my hands in the air. “Or I’m warning you, I will quit this right now.”

  “Are you kidding me, Mackenzie?” Bash scoffed. “You can’t just quit. That’s not how this works!”